pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize