i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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