I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
