i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize