If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
