New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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