I must be too annoying 4 u.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
