And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
