She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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