I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
tell me about the eggs
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
