Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
