Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
