i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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