Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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