I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
