Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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