summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
