You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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