don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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