we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
