Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
