..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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