is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
