There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
