billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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