Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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