my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
