your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
