Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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