It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
