I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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