In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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