So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
