'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
