Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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