No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
