you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
