Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
