Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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