do herpes really smell.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
