and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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