Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
