I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
