if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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