so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
