Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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