On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Randomize
