oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
