I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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