Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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