In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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