You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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