So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
its not stalking. its research.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
