yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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