Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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